Get to know someone
Questions to get to know someone better
Skip the small talk. Get curious.
The right question can turn someone you just met into someone you actually know.
What is something you wish more people asked you about?
Ask it, then answer it yourself.
Getting to know someone is a conversation, not a questionnaire.
You don't need to ask someone 50 questions in a row.
Start easy. Listen to the answer. Ask a follow-up.
And let the conversation wander somewhere unexpected.
Easy questions to get to know someone
Low-pressure openers that don't sound like a form.
What's been the best part of your week so far?
What are you looking forward to this month?
How did you end up doing what you do?
Where did you grow up, and what was it like there?
What do you do when you have a free evening?
What's your ideal weekend, realistically?
What's something you've been into lately?
Are you a morning person or is that a lie people tell?
What's the last thing you watched or read that you'd recommend?
What's your go-to order when you can't decide?
What's a place near you that you love?
How do you usually spend your commute?
What's something small you treated yourself to recently?
What did you think you'd be doing at this age?
What's on your calendar that you're actually excited about?
Interesting questions to ask someone
Questions that reveal how a person thinks, and what they care about when nobody's checking.
What could you give a 20-minute talk on with no preparation?
What's something you've changed your mind about recently?
What's a rabbit hole you've fallen into lately?
What's an unusual way you spend your money?
What's the most interesting thing about your job that nobody asks about?
What's something you do differently from most people?
What's a piece of advice you'd give but rarely follow?
What's a decision that turned out much better than expected?
What did you use to be really into?
What's the best thing you've learned from someone you disagreed with?
What's a strong opinion you hold about something completely unimportant?
What's the most useful thing you've ever bought?
What kind of problems do you enjoy solving?
What's something you're better at now than a year ago?
What's a compliment you've received that stuck with you?
Fun questions to get to know someone
Playful, unexpected, and surprisingly good at showing who someone is.
What's the strangest job you'd genuinely enjoy?
What would your reality show be called?
What's a food combination you defend in public?
What's the pettiest thing that ruins your day?
What's your emergency karaoke song?
What's the worst haircut of your life?
What talent would you pick if it had to be useless?
What's the best nickname you've ever had?
What fictional world would you last two days in?
What's your most irrational fear?
What's a trend you regret participating in?
What would you spend a completely free Tuesday doing?
What's the strangest compliment you've received?
What would your autobiography be called?
Which of your habits would confuse a stranger?
Personal questions
More revealing — but nothing that puts anyone on the spot.
What are you working on about yourself?
What's something people misjudge about you at first?
What makes you feel taken care of?
What's a risk you're glad you took?
What's the hardest thing you've done in the last few years?
Who has shaped how you think?
What do you do when things get heavy?
What's something you're proud of that isn't on a résumé?
What do you need from your friends that you rarely ask for?
What's a part of your life you've kept private but wouldn't mind sharing?
What's something you've forgiven?
When did you last surprise yourself?
What's something you want more of in your life?
What's a moment when you felt genuinely seen?
What's something you've had to unlearn?
Deep questions
For later in the evening. There are many more on the deep questions page.
What are you still figuring out?
What does a good life look like to you?
What's something you believed strongly that you no longer believe?
When do you feel most like yourself?
What do you want people to feel after spending time with you?
What's a fear that quietly shapes your choices?
What would you do differently if no one were watching?
What's the kindest thing anyone has done for you?
What's a version of your life that almost happened?
What do you want to be able to say about this decade?
What's something you've made peace with?
What are you quietly proud of?
Who knows the current version of you?
What would your younger self be surprised by?
What's a question you'd like someone to ask you?
What do you hope changes in your lifetime?
Don't ask questions just to ask questions.
The best conversations aren't interviews.
When someone gives an interesting answer, don't immediately move to the next question. Stay there.
Ask:
- Why?
- What happened?
- How did that change you?
- Tell me more.
Questions for a new friend
Looking for common ground, shared stories and something to do next.
What made you say yes to hanging out today?
What's the fastest way to become your friend?
Who are the people you've known the longest?
What do your friends usually come to you for?
What's something you'd love to do with someone who's up for it?
What's the best trip you've taken, and who with?
What did your teenage self spend all their time on?
What's something you want to try but haven't found company for?
What's a tradition you've kept with friends?
How do you know when a friendship is working?
What are you usually the one to organise?
What's a story about you I'd hear from someone else first?
What kind of plans do you always say yes to?
What's something you've recently gotten into that you'd bring me along for?
What do you wish people asked you more about?
Questions for someone you've just met
Natural things to ask in the first hour, without it feeling like an interview.
What's something you wish more people asked you about?
How do you know the people here?
What's taking up most of your time right now?
What brought you to this city?
What's something you're learning at the moment?
What was your first job, and how bad was it?
What's a normal day for you?
What do you do that has nothing to do with work?
What's the best recommendation you've been given lately?
What's something you'd happily talk about for an hour?
Where do you go when you need to think?
What surprised you most about the place you live?
What did you want to be when you were ten?
What's something you've done that most people here probably haven't?
What's the story behind something you're wearing?
Questions for someone you're dating
Curious about the person, not their CV. Values, dreams and what daily life actually looks like.
What does a great day look like for you?
What are you most curious about right now?
What kind of people do you keep close?
What's something you're not willing to compromise on?
How do you like to spend a Sunday with someone?
What did your last few years teach you?
What makes you feel appreciated?
What's a place you'd want to show someone?
What are you building toward at the moment?
What's something you find genuinely attractive that isn't about looks?
How do you handle it when you disagree with someone you like?
What role does your family play in your life?
What do you want your everyday life to feel like?
What's a story that explains you pretty well?
What would you want someone to know about you early on?
Questions about getting to know someone
What are good questions to get to know someone?
Good questions are open, specific and easy to answer out loud: “What's been the best part of your week?”, “What could you talk about for hours?”, “What's something you've changed your mind about?” They invite a story rather than a fact, and they don't require the other person to reveal anything private too early.
What should I ask someone I just met?
Start with their present tense — what's taking up their time, what they're into lately, how they know the people around them. First-meeting questions should be easy to answer in one sentence and easy to expand if they feel like it.
How do you get to know someone better?
Ask fewer questions and follow up more. One question, a real answer, and then “why?” or “what happened?” will tell you more about a person than ten unrelated questions. Getting to know someone is depth over coverage.
What are interesting questions to ask someone?
Interesting questions ask about how someone thinks, not what they own. “What's a strong opinion you hold about something unimportant?” or “What kind of problems do you enjoy solving?” reveal personality quickly and are fun to answer.
What are good questions for a new friend?
Look for common ground and shared plans: what they always say yes to, what they've been wanting to try, who they've known the longest. New friendships grow from doing things together, so questions that end in an invitation work well.
What are good personal questions to ask?
Personal doesn't have to mean intrusive. Ask about growth, pride and people — “What are you working on about yourself?”, “What's something you're proud of that isn't on a résumé?” Skip anything about money, health or exes until there's real trust.
How do you move beyond small talk?
Answer your own question first with something slightly honest. Small talk continues when both people stay safe; it ends the moment one person offers a real detail and the other gets curious about it.
What is a good question to ask someone on a date?
Ask about the shape of their life rather than their history: “What does a great day look like for you?” or “What do you want your everyday life to feel like?” You learn about values and compatibility without it feeling like an interview.
Keep reading
Conversation starters
100+ openers for friends, couples, family and fun evenings.
Deep questions
When the conversation is ready to go further than small talk.
Questions for friends
For the people who already know your worst stories.
Questions for couples
Memories, appreciation and the future — two people, one deck.
Bring these questions to the table.
Put your phone down. Pick a question. See where it goes.
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